Saturday, October 2, 2010

This wasn't in my dayplanner

As busy as I have been lately, it seems my life rolls along the smoothest if everything is tucked neatly inside its own little box on my iPhone calender.  Life rolls along like that Visa check card commercial until someone pays cash and brings the well oiled machine to a screeching halt.  But in my case, the last three weeks have been filled with some unexpected tummy troubles that were not part of the schedule.  Three days in room 491, six bags of IV fluids, three medical procedures, and countless blood tests later, I try to remind myself that although this has not been part of my plan, God knew this would happen all along.  As I lay in a tiny room alone, waiting for the nurse to come and get me for more probing and prodding, I willed my mind to take comfort in God's sovereignty.  I gave Him all of my worries about myself, my family, and all of the loose ends that I was sure were coming unraveled with me in the hospital.  I made myself do it because there was no other way.  By nature I am a do-er and God forced me to become a "be-er" and leave the doing to Him.  And He is faithful and good all the time.  His sovereign hand has been made visible in how he has orchestrated all the details I never could have worked out on my own.  He has reminded me in a quite literal, typed up on a PowerPoint presentation, (isn't that what we always want Him to do?  Write His handwriting in the sky? Seriously, I think this is a testament to my stubbornness) the importance of being rather than doing.  We all know the story, and if I am honest, I always thought that maybe Martha could just listen to Jesus from the other room while she got the food ready.  New Testament multi-tasking.  Besides, someone had to do it.  Hmm... not really what Jesus says:

Luke 10:40 "But Martha was distracted with much serving."

41But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

Then He speaks these words into my heart:  The doing things will pass away.  But the being, the time invested in engaging and nurturing relationships, which are ultimately for His glory, those will last.  Even for generations. 

So this morning, I thank Him for His word, I rest in His sovereignty (He knows what is going on even if no one else does), and take joy in His being with me.

5 comments:

Wanting What I Have said...

Les!!! Are you okay? I mean, I know from what you shared that God is working in your heart and teaching you during this time...I am praying for you! Praying that God would strengthen you and bring healing to you.

And I am rejoicing at your response. Giving it all to Him is SO HARD. I hand it over, while He pries my fingers away, and then I run and grab it back. I've always thought Martha could hear from the other room, too. :) And I often tell myself the same thing.

Your honesty is a blessing to me. I am praying for you, friend.

Love you!

Trawick Family said...

I just got the email that you have been in the hospital! I hope you are feeling better...not sure if you're home yet or not. PLEASE let me know if there is anything that I can do. Food, take the boys, anything.
I completely understand about being a do-er. Your words spoke to me about stopping and just being. Take care!

The Hairstons said...

I didn't know that you have been sick :( I'm sorry! Do you need anything?? I will be praying for you!!

Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae said...

Are you home yet? Can you email or have someone else email me with some details of what you need? Am happy to help in any way. Praying for comfort...

Angie Smith said...

Leslie,
It's more difficult being a Mary in a Martha world. I just try to remind myself one day I can be Mary without anyone complaining! Thanks for that inspirational word even if you did have to suffer to give it to us! I hope you are feeling better!