Yesterday I took the boys to the park and then to McDonald's for lunch. At the park, Briggs was not his normal I-can-have-fun-anywhere-self. He was bored and ready to leave after a few minutes. Afterward when I got them lunch, I made them wait because the chicken was very hot. Briggs got tired of waiting and in exasperation said, "Mom, I'm not a kid anymore!" When I flipped out and and started my "what do you mean you're not a kid anymore, you're only 6 years old" speech, he quickly retracted and explained he meant that he was not a 2 or 3 year old baby anymore. I think he was upset that he was being treated like Max, so I gave him his chicken nuggets to cool off himself.
Of course, this made me think about all of the ways he is trying to become more independent, like not wanting to hold my hand when we cross the street, getting his own glass ready at dinner, and even helping me with laundry. I know that this is a small taste of what is to come since growing up is really all about children learning to become more and more independent of their parents. How does a mother, whose job it is to nurture and protect, get ready for all this independence?
Last night when Briggs was saying his prayers, he prayed for Max to be good. Afterward, I reminded him that he is not perfect and also needs God to help him to be good and to forgive him of his sins. We talked about forgiveness, how we can never be good enough, how we deserve punishment, and how Jesus took our punishment and became our substitution on the cross. He says that he understands all of this and has already asked God to forgive him of his sins. We then talked about Jesus being the Lord of your life and how that means that He is in charge, not us.
I think Briggs is close to understanding all of this. I think because Briggs is a good kid and wants to please us, it is hard for him to see his sinfullness, whereas Max's is pretty clear! I just pray that it truly is the Holy Spirit drawing him to Himself, showing him his total depravity, and preparing Briggs to be lavished with His grace. It's the most important thing that will ever happen in his life and I am so excited to watch his love story with Christ unfold.