The day has finally arrived. The day I have dreaded for quite some time now. The day I personally can't live down, having made my own mother stay in the car crying while my older cousin walked me in to my first day of kindergarten. (Sorry, mom) Briggs woke up this morning, ate chocolatey chocolate chip muffins (his favorite) and got dressed. As he was putting on his belt, he asked his dad "where are we going?" Did I miss something here......
"Oh yea" was his reply when his dad reminded him that he was going to school. I'm not really sure how it could have slipped his mind, as we have gone over his car rider number, his teacher's name, etc a million times in the last few days.
We got to school at 7:45 and the traffic was crazy. We found a parking space and walked in to the school to his classroom. I did not see any children crying, however, there were mothers crying everywhere. This did not help my brave face I had carefully applied this morning along with my makeup. I was fine until we turned to go.
How do you let go of a child that you grew in your own body and birthed with pain and anguish (well, there would have been if not for the epidural) to go out into the world alone, when everything in you is screaming to hold on with both hands? My heart felt like it was going to explode, I was surely having a panic attack. I guess this is where the rubber meets the road. If I can trust God with my eternity, I know I have to trust Him to take care of my child. He gave him to me anyway and now, in a way, I have to give him back. Hey, at least I am not like the mother who asked the teacher if she could just hang out in the classroom all day today. I would never do anything like that. I am going to get some binoculars and park near his classroom window and watch him from there.